


"i knew you'd stick around."

by P0RCELAINS, seonghwaa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Night, Roommates, Smut with a Story, Suicide, WayV - Freeform, balcony, cute smut, house buddies, i shouldv'e studied for finals but oop, johnten, johnten makes me soft, nct - Freeform, nct127 - Freeform, save winwin, sorry - Freeform, theme park, this is really depressing i'm sorry, uwu, you gonna be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-15 18:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19301368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P0RCELAINS/pseuds/P0RCELAINS, https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonghwaa/pseuds/seonghwaa
Summary: a story wherein you know the last words your soulmate will ever say to you, so you don't know you met them until you lose them.“i knew you’d stick around.”(time stamps are there but only for minor detail, you pick the year idrc)





	"i knew you'd stick around."

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [i'm sorry ;; woosan](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18779284) by [P0RCELAINS](https://archiveofourown.org/users/P0RCELAINS/pseuds/P0RCELAINS). 



> hi so this is my first work on ao3 yayyy. i do have a wattpad but it's really shit.
> 
> go follow @P0RCELAINS because her story gave me this inspiration!!

a story wherein you know the last words your soulmate will ever say to you, so you don't know you met them until you lose them.

“i knew you’d stick around.”

~ 06.15.xx

a cold breeze rippled against the faded blue curtains of johnny’s shared apartment, he lay in his unmade bed, staring at the slow moving ceiling fan. it was hours past midnight and johnny decided to finally take a break from studying. he let out a low groan as he sat up and ruffled his messy brown hair. although many thoughts teemed the brunettes mind, they all vanished at the delicate voice of his new roommate. 

a few days ago, johnny had been notified that somebody would be moving in. it just seemed unusual that this new roommate would have decided to start unpacking in the late hours of night.

the sleepy boy stood up from his bed and wandered out to the living room, glancing to see where the voice was coming from. eventually, his eyes landed on a short, black haired boy. the new figure stood on the balcony, and seemed to be staring at the city lights of seoul. johnny soon stood next to him, wanting to introduce himself, or maybe ask why the other was still awake.

“uh, i’m johnny… you must be chi...chitta-”

“ten. just call me ten.” the shorter boy responded, his shiny dark eyes remained looking ahead, making johnny feel like he wasn’t being interesting enough, something he was already used to,

“oh, okay. well, i guess we’re roommates now?” johnny tried, wanting to start a somewhat double sided conversation.

“yeah.”

johnny took a deep breath, “you really don’t like talking do you?” and with that, ten sighed and shifted so that he was facing johnny and looking directly into his eyes.

“do you ever think that the moon feels insignificant because it borrows light from the sun, and can’t make its own?” he inquired, full of wonder and thoughts that were too disheveled to understand.

johnny could've swore that he saw stars flickering in the others eyes. the younger appeared fascinated, but tired at the same time. and at that moment, johnny thought that ten was beautiful. of course, he had just asked the most random question and the taller was slightly concerned, but he decided to answer regardless.

“maybe. why? you should get some sleep, it’s late.”

“don’t worry about me.”

“you’ve already made me worry,”

“i’m perfectly normal and healthy, why should you be worried?” ten scoffed.

“because, you’re my roommate, it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun... this is all very interesting but you look exhausted so will you please go to sleep?” johnny finished, he wiped his forehead and kept staring contently into the youngers eyes.

“okay.” ten said softly, he rubbed his eyes and walked past johnny and to his room, not saying anything else.

~ 06.16.xx

“i made breakfast, there’s enough for you.” ten said, waking johnny from his deep slumber, he was probably dreaming about exams anyways.

“aghh,” he groaned, sitting up and stretching his arms above his head, “thank you, i’ll be out in a few minutes.” ten nodded and left the others room. like johnny said, he was eating toast beside ten in a matter of minutes.

“so... what made you move in?” johnny asked, wiping the strawberry jam from his cheek.

“that’s a dumb question. are you trying to get to know me?”

“yes?”

“than tell me, what words are constantly echoing in the back of your mind?”

johnny swallowed hardly. woah, this ten guy was bold. usually nobody talks about the “voices”, or whatever people called them. and many people thought that all the conspiracies regarding soulmates were a complete myth anyways.

“cmon, do you not know what those words mean by now? i’ll tell you. those words are the last words that you’ll hear from your soulmate, so you won’t know you had them until they’re gone.”

johnny knew that, everyone did. but it was simply uncommon to bring it up in conversation. the people who thought it was fake, didn’t hear those words from their lover before they died or went away. but the people who believed in it, must’ve thought they hadn’t found the “right one” yet, or they did and the words were fulfilled.

“my…. my words?” the older boy said quietly,

“yeah, thats what i said. i’ll tell you mine if you want.” ten said calmly, and by the looks of it, he was definitely intrigued by the conversation. he kept leaning closer and closer to johnny, curious.

“i’ll tell you one day, but tell me yours..”

“agh lame, but fine. my words are.... i’ll be here no matter what. always.”

johnny looked down at his plate, just thinking of how ironic that was. to be completely honest, he didn’t believe the soulmate conspiracy. i mean, after hearing tens words, it didn’t make sense to him. why would a soulmate tell you they won’t leave, but then… leave?

“you’re quiet all of a sudden.” ten mumbled, he sighed and stood up from the table, “my words fucking suck, based on that phrase, they’re going to be a liar and a dick who leaves me after telling me they wouldn’t.

johnny could tell that ten was getting worked up, his eyes were getting glossy and he kept his eyes trained at his feet. so johnny stood up, and hugged him.

“what are you doing,” the younger sniffled,

“to be honest, i don’t really know how to comfort people. just, don’t think so much about it, or just think like me, and don’t believe it.” ten giggled against the taller boys chest and pulled away from the hug.

“well, tall fellow, your comforting tactics work. but i still believe it.” the younger threw his bag over his shoulder, and walked towards the door. johnny followed soon after.

the flow of classes, studying and working way too many hours begun, and time began to pick up speed.

~ 10.28.xx

the joy and heat of summer was now long gone, ten had made lots of friends over the past few months, he joined the dance club and was a little too addicted to rhythm games.

johnny on the other hand, hadn’t changed nearly as much. he met ten, which was definitely a change, but other than that, he had no new friends except for a cute smiley boy named jungwoo, and a loud, funny canadian boy named mark. 

his whole summer break, wasn’t much of a break. johnny still continued to study non stop, and only went outside when it was completely necessary.

although ten and johnny remained roommates, their conversations were a lot easier to sustain,. they’d gotten much closer and went to each other whenever they needed anything. ten would help johnny with his literature homework, and johnny would keep the house clean and make sure ten stayed healthy and didn’t overwork himself.

“johnny!” ten whined from the couch, the older walked down the hall and towards his roommate, who was pouting with his arms crossed.

“yes?”

“take me out.”

“huh?” johnny was genuinely surprised, he realized his feelings for ten only a week after they met. on the balcony a few months prior to today.. but it wasn’t expected that ten himself would ask johnny of all people, to take him out.

“o-on a date?”

“of course dumbass! agh this is so embarrassing…”

“what? don’t be embarrassed, sure! i’ll take you out on a date.” johnny laughed, he strode over to the couch and gave ten a kiss on the cheek, making his whole face flushed red.

“it’s kind of obvious we like each other ten, i’ve been trying to flirt with you the whole week.”

“o-oh, i didn’t realize…” the younger boy mumbled,

“so, where shall i take you?” johnny asked, pulling ten towards him and off the couch,

“we could eat, or the theme park would be cool!”

“i’ll take you to do both. grab a jacket just in case it gets windy,” the brunette boy smiled, they headed towards the door, excited for their first official date.

when the couple arrived, they bolted straight for the ferris wheel. something about that ride made both of them enter euphoria. the feeling that they got when they seemed to be on top of the world. nobody could touch them.

the reality of depression, failing classes, and broken friendships… didn’t exist anymore. because now, all that mattered was the two of them.

ten couldn’t help but notice the aristocratic man in front of him. the black haired boy admired the way johnnys lips were perfectly shaped, and the way his height alone screamed safety and warmth. quite frankly, he had an arduous time believing that they were on a real date.

the same could be said for johnny. the brunette felt so, so lucky to have a literal angel next to him. but all of a sudden, johnny heard the familiar words whispering in the back of his head, like dust rolling through a place that nobody entered, a place nobody wanted to go.

maybe it was a warning. a warning that the two of them weren’t supposed to be together. yet, johnny didn’t care less. fuck a stupid conspiracy that was only proved real 60% of the time. and even if they did turn out to be soulmates… johnny couldn’t think of a single reason that he would leave ten.

“bullshit” he thought, grabbing tens hand tightly and pulling him in closer.

~ 11.09.xx

they’d fallen in love like how you’d fall asleep. slowly, but then all at once. ten had went from being a shy, timid boy who only expressed his emotions through dance and quiet laughter, to sharing his every thought with johnny, and not caring what others had to say about them.

johnny’s whole life used to play out in monotone. but now his dull hours had been transformed into beautiful pastel colors. the colors that seemed to radiate from ten when he smiled.

although the two boys were surely in love, ten’s ongoing fear still resided inside of him. whenever the couple was together, ten would think of how he wanted it to last forever, he really wanted johnny to be his soulmate. but at the same time, he didn’t. he didn’t want the older to leave him. after all, his soulmates last words were destined to be “i’ll always be here no matter what… always.”

ten knew that in the end, he wouldn’t end up with his soulmate. and that simple fact made ten not see a future for himself. he’d been dreaming of spending his life with his soulmate ever since he was a little boy, but now everything just seemed pointless.

ten’s dance class ended unusually late that night, they finished a few hours past 12am. and although ten’s whole body was aching, he felt a strong urge to see his boyfriend.

when he opened the apartment door, johnny was sleeping in his bed. he looked so perfect, messy hair jumbled on his forehead and thick lips slightly parted. ten knew that johnny had been waiting for ten to make a move. he’d been constantly asking the younger if it was okay to touch him, to make love to him. but ten had always said no, simply because he was nervous, after all, he’d never done it before.

but tonight, ten was feeling confident. he hovered johnny, debating what he was going to do. eventually… ten let his thoughts fade away as he closed the distance between their lips, kissing the older deeper and more lovingly than ever before.

after a few seconds, johnny’s eyes slid open. he realized what was happening, and put his palm on the back of ten’s neck pulling their bodies together. the younger let out a high hum at the contact of their lower bodies, he was shaking. mixed with emotions of excitement and nervousness.

“ten… baby, i need you to trust me. you know i would never hurt you.” johnny said in his raspy voice, ten nodded in response, reconnecting their lips.

it was beautiful for johnny, to break ten down like this. his eyes widening, dazzling, mouth agape, lips pink and wet. how he'd grasp onto any part of the older, dig his nails in and squeak out incoherent words. how he’d release loud cries at how johnny would press himself in.

it was beautiful to break ten down into a teary, fucked out, squirming mess who grabbed the sheets too tightly and whimpered too beautifully. 

but it was more beautiful to bring ten back up. how he'd slowly press their lips together, and johnny would continue, keep pleasuring his beautiful boy like this. until ten reached his limit, arching his back and letting himself out on the bed. he'd melt onto johnny's arms, fallen down, breathing heavily, moonlight glowing on the two of them.

~ 12.31.xx

“happy new year!” the citizens of seoul shouted in unison. the stars shone brightly overhead, but nothing could make johnny happier than the stars in ten’s eyes. the two boys stood on the same balcony where they first met, and maybe, this place could one day hold even more significance.

kissing ten was like heaven to johnny. it was as if their lips were made for each other, and the two of them only. every once and while, johnny would pull away and whisper a soft “i love you” before reconnecting with the shorter boy. when ten was with johnny, he felt completely safe, and comfortable. and at this moment, neither of them wanting anything else than to be next to each other. 

johnny had noticed that ten had been off lately, he never talked anymore. maybe it was because classes were getting tougher, or maybe because of something else that johnny didn’t know about. honestly, the older was worried. he knew he wouldn’t stop loving ten, but at the same time, he missed his old cheerful self.

tonight, on new years day. johnny thought there would be a change. a fresh start. and he was correct, in a way.

ten finally pulled away from the kiss, his tear stained cheeks only making him look more beautiful. johnny wrapped his arms around the smaller and gave him a reassuring squeeze. ten only responded by looking to his feet, shutting his eyes, letting everything go dark. 

“baby, are you alright?”

“i... i don’t know…” the shorters voice cracked, breathing and becoming uneven. johnny grabbed his hands, immediately noticing how cold and clammy they were.

“shhh, calm down, calm down. tell me what you’re thinking,”

ten looked up into johnny’s eyes, he opened his mouth to respond, but suddenly fell to the floor, his legs giving out beneath him. johnny couldn’t catch him but got down beside him, placing tens head in his lap and cupping his cheeks in his hands. the taller was getting concerned, he reached to check his boyfriends pulse, which was rapidly getting slower and harder to find.

“jo-johnny i’m so, so sorry, i-” ten hiccuped as he tried desperately to get his words out, “i can’t take it anymore! school is so fucking hard, a-and my friends are getting farther away, a-and you, you can’t be my soulmate!”

johnny swallowed slowly, his mouth went dry, “ten, you still believe in that soulmate shit? cmon, you feel it, i… i fucking love you! and even if the soulmate thing was true, why would i leave you? that's not going to happen!,” he rambled, voice starting to crack.

“johnny... i can’t help but be terrified when i hear those words in the back of my head.. i don’t think ther-” the smaller boy’s eyelids got heavy and his vision became distorted and blurry,

“wha, ten! keep your eyes open and tell me what the fuck is happening!”

“i don’t think there is a point in living if i’ll end up with nobody in the end, my soulmate will leave me johnny… i’ll be alone! and who knows how long you’ll stay! i couldn’t imagine losing you!”

“ten what did you do! i swear to god… you can talk to me! i’ve always been here for you, and lately you’ve seemed so sad, your cheery self is fading, it’s like… the day when we first met. you’re scaring me ten… i really love you and you’re acting like you doubt me on that!”

“johnny i took your pills, i think maybe… too many…. but don’t worry about me, go find your soulmate...”

johnny broke down, tears started falling like a waterfall down his cheeks, he grabbed his phone with shaking hands and tried to dial emergency services, but failed when ten threw the phone out of his hand, johnny began mumbling about how he had to go get help, he was obviously in shock.

“johnny p...please..” ten managed to say, his eyes were almost fully shut, and his breathing had gotten noticeably slower. “don’t leave me, don’t leave like my soulmate will, i don’t want a dumb soulmate… i want you.”

ten began shaking, moments flashing in his mind, moments from when the two of them were together, when they were happy. 

the night when they met. ten had been standing on the same balcony where he lay now, and he was talking about the moon.

in this moment, ten was the moon.

he felt as if he was insignificant. spending his life borrowing love from johnny, because he knew that his soulmate would leave him in the end. so ten drowned himself in johnny’s love, trying to distract himself from the fact that he would never find his true soulmate.

johnny was the sun. bursting with happiness and love. he gave all his love to ten, without the younger even having to ask.

now, it was different.

johnny held ten’s face in his lap. both their faces were wet with tears, the taller squeezed the younger gently but with so much anger. how? how could this happen? johnny had given himself fully to ten, and now the only one he’d ever love was going to disappear.

he yelled. johnny yelled as loud as he possibly could. his breath getting cold like the air surrounding them. johnny was breaking, his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

“i won’t… i won’t leave…. fuck… fuck what do i do.. fuck!” johnny cried, voice getting higher, johnny prayed, and prayed that this night wouldn’t end with only one of them, they were meant to be together, the two of them.

“i knew you’d stick around….” ten whispered, barely audible, but those words didn’t go unnoticed by johnny, because those words were the ones that had been screamed in his head for years. the words he couldn’t get rid of and didn’t believe in.

soulmates were real. and johnny knew that his was laying in his lap, dying. and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“i’ll be here no matter what…. always.”

ten’s heart skipped a beat, how could he be so stupid? but, it was too late anyways. no matter how hard the younger fought, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move. and eventually, he took his last breath, and was gone.

 

 

 

\- the end -


End file.
